Comments on: Tragedy in a homeschooling family http://redhatrob.com/2010/02/tragedy-in-a-homeschooling-family/ The Director's Blog - Rob Shearer, Francis Schaeffer Study Center, Mt. Juliet, TN Wed, 09 May 2012 04:32:06 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3 By: Kathy http://redhatrob.com/2010/02/tragedy-in-a-homeschooling-family/#comment-239 Kathy Fri, 26 Mar 2010 05:13:23 +0000 http://redhatrob.com/?p=1424#comment-239 A commenter above you mentions that she and other family members wrote to the Pearls about a disturbing situation in their own family, but received no response. However, what I wanted to point out, Karen, is that Matthew 18 applies when someone sins against you. It doesn't apply to situations where there is a public teaching that is false or dangerous. A commenter above you mentions that she and other family members wrote to the Pearls about a disturbing situation in their own family, but received no response.

However, what I wanted to point out, Karen, is that Matthew 18 applies when someone sins against you. It doesn’t apply to situations where there is a public teaching that is false or dangerous.

]]> By: Reactions to the Schatz Tragedy | Why Not Train A Child http://redhatrob.com/2010/02/tragedy-in-a-homeschooling-family/#comment-238 Reactions to the Schatz Tragedy | Why Not Train A Child Fri, 19 Mar 2010 21:23:26 +0000 http://redhatrob.com/?p=1424#comment-238 [...] Tragedy in a homeschooling family by Rob Shearer, Director of the Francis Schaeffer Study Center [...] [...] Tragedy in a homeschooling family by Rob Shearer, Director of the Francis Schaeffer Study Center [...]

]]> By: Karen Flanagan http://redhatrob.com/2010/02/tragedy-in-a-homeschooling-family/#comment-237 Karen Flanagan Thu, 18 Mar 2010 07:44:44 +0000 http://redhatrob.com/?p=1424#comment-237 Hi Rob. We love the Greenleaf stuff and have used it for....goodness 12 years now! Anyway, I just found out about all this yesterday from an e-mail chain. (Frankly, I have gotten so I avoid the news. It's all just too much for me sometimes, but I digress...) my husband and I have read all the Pearl parenting stuff, and I must say, we view them favorably for the most part. We never interpreted anything they wrote to mean beat your kid till he breaks or dies. When swats were warranted, we usually gave swats per age. But really none of our kids (7 boys with very different personalities) required swats much after 6 or seven. By then, love, real- life consequences, trust, relationship, and privileges seemed to drive obedience or disobedience. Michael Pearl sometimes comes across authoritarian or gruff, but my goodness, as a nurse, 30% of all my male patients are like that, at least to me. I think it's just his personality type. I don't think he is bad or controlling or unloving. It seems folks focus on the "rod" stuff and miss all the relationship, "tying strings", "keep your home joyful", "enjoy your children" stuff. I think we as a christian community are so fearful of messing up our kids, we'll follow almost anyone's advice be it, Dobson, Ezzo, Trumball, or Pearl. What we really need are only two things; know Jesus, know our children. If we're too busy focusing on some manual, then we aren't focused on either Jesus or our children. It's all about relationship as near as I can tell, but my oldest is only 17, so I'm still pretty green. As one commenter above put it, ". My husband said “how on earth can you hold down the natural drive parents have to take care of your child?” Therein lies the real trouble. I don't care whose parenting advice one follows, something is wrong with this couple as evidenced by the fact that that "natural drive" did not kick in. This is horribly tragic beyond anything I can imagine, but I don't believe Michael Pearl is to blame. Just out of curiosity, I wonder if anyone that disagrees with his teachings has contacted him privately, in accordance with Matthew 18:15-17? In the meantime, I sincerely hope and pray that these poor children, Lydia's brothers and sisters, can come to understand that Jesus is Love. Karen Hi Rob. We love the Greenleaf stuff and have used it for….goodness 12 years now!

Anyway, I just found out about all this yesterday from an e-mail chain. (Frankly, I have gotten so I avoid the news. It’s all just too much for me sometimes, but I digress…) my husband and I have read all the Pearl parenting stuff, and I must say, we view them favorably for the most part. We never interpreted anything they wrote to mean beat your kid till he breaks or dies. When swats were warranted, we usually gave swats per age. But really none of our kids (7 boys with very different personalities) required swats much after 6 or seven. By then, love, real- life consequences, trust, relationship, and privileges seemed to drive obedience or disobedience.

Michael Pearl sometimes comes across authoritarian or gruff, but my goodness, as a nurse, 30% of all my male patients are like that, at least to me. I think it’s just his personality type. I don’t think he is bad or controlling or unloving. It seems folks focus on the “rod” stuff and miss all the relationship, “tying strings”, “keep your home joyful”, “enjoy your children” stuff.

I think we as a christian community are so fearful of messing up our kids, we’ll follow almost anyone’s advice be it, Dobson, Ezzo, Trumball, or Pearl. What we really need are only two things; know Jesus, know our children. If we’re too busy focusing on some manual, then we aren’t focused on either Jesus or our children. It’s all about relationship as near as I can tell, but my oldest is only 17, so I’m still pretty green.

As one commenter above put it, “. My husband said “how on earth can you hold down the natural drive parents have to take care of your child?” Therein lies the real trouble. I don’t care whose parenting advice one follows, something is wrong with this couple as evidenced by the fact that that “natural drive” did not kick in. This is horribly tragic beyond anything I can imagine, but I don’t believe Michael Pearl is to blame. Just out of curiosity, I wonder if anyone that disagrees with his teachings has contacted him privately, in accordance with Matthew 18:15-17?

In the meantime, I sincerely hope and pray that these poor children, Lydia’s brothers and sisters, can come to understand that Jesus is Love.

Karen

]]> By: | Why Not Train A Child http://redhatrob.com/2010/02/tragedy-in-a-homeschooling-family/#comment-236 | Why Not Train A Child Fri, 12 Mar 2010 21:33:35 +0000 http://redhatrob.com/?p=1424#comment-236 [...] Tragedy in a homeschooling family by Rob Shearer, Director of the Francis Schaeffer Study Center Share and Enjoy: [...] [...] Tragedy in a homeschooling family by Rob Shearer, Director of the Francis Schaeffer Study Center Share and Enjoy: [...]

]]> By: Those Who Don’t Agree « change http://redhatrob.com/2010/02/tragedy-in-a-homeschooling-family/#comment-235 Those Who Don’t Agree « change Tue, 09 Mar 2010 03:48:04 +0000 http://redhatrob.com/?p=1424#comment-235 [...] Rob Shearer: Tragedy in a Homeschooling Family Homeschool father of 11 children, church elder, Director of the Francis Schaeffer Study Center, co-founder of Greenleaf Press homeschool materials publisher [...] [...] Rob Shearer: Tragedy in a Homeschooling Family Homeschool father of 11 children, church elder, Director of the Francis Schaeffer Study Center, co-founder of Greenleaf Press homeschool materials publisher [...]

]]> By: TulipGirl » Blog Archive » Speaking Out, Updated. . . http://redhatrob.com/2010/02/tragedy-in-a-homeschooling-family/#comment-234 TulipGirl » Blog Archive » Speaking Out, Updated. . . Tue, 09 Mar 2010 03:20:27 +0000 http://redhatrob.com/?p=1424#comment-234 [...] Rob Shearer: Tragedy in a Homeschooling Family Homeschool father of 11 children, church elder, Director of the Francis Schaeffer Study Center, co-founder of Greenleaf Press homeschool materials publisher [...] [...] Rob Shearer: Tragedy in a Homeschooling Family Homeschool father of 11 children, church elder, Director of the Francis Schaeffer Study Center, co-founder of Greenleaf Press homeschool materials publisher [...]

]]> By: caligirl http://redhatrob.com/2010/02/tragedy-in-a-homeschooling-family/#comment-233 caligirl Fri, 05 Mar 2010 06:25:04 +0000 http://redhatrob.com/?p=1424#comment-233 I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart, Mr. Shearer, and everyone else who is speaking out about the Pearls. I'm afraid to go into too much detail about my own family situation for fear of losing my ability to see the children involved, but to summarize, I believe that children in my family have been seriously hurt physically and emotionally by parents who were influenced by the Pearls' materials. This started when their first child was spanked at only a few months of age for crying, and by the time the child was a toddler the parents were using a paddle, a wooden spoon, and a metal rod to the point of leaving bruises on their child. It was always done in places that would not be seen in public, such as on the upper legs, back, etc. Every time someone in our family tried to intervene we would be told that the parents would move far away and we would never see their children again. It was agony knowing this was going on but not knowing how to stop it. I wrote to the Pearls, as did others in my family, about our concern about spanking to the point of bruising, but they did not respond. When I came across a story about the Schatz family in my local newspaper, and then saw Michael Pearl's Facebook quote in which he says that he is laughing, it made my blood run cold. When he says that all of the people who use his materials have happy children, I know this is not true. I have not even mentioned the emotional abuse & humiliation that has been inflicted on the children in my family by their parents, which I also traced to things that Pearl recommends. I remember when we were going through the worst of this experience in my family I started having nightmares about one of the children being killed by their parents. It's probably too late to undo a lot of the damage already done, and I will probably carry a feeling of guilt for not figuring out a way to intervene for the rest of my life. The only positive thing I can see to come out of the horror of Lydia Schatz' death is that maybe now the tide is shifting a little against the Pearls. Please keep speaking out. Thank you all. I will keep all of you in my prayers. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart, Mr. Shearer, and everyone else who is speaking out about the Pearls. I’m afraid to go into too much detail about my own family situation for fear of losing my ability to see the children involved, but to summarize, I believe that children in my family have been seriously hurt physically and emotionally by parents who were influenced by the Pearls’ materials. This started when their first child was spanked at only a few months of age for crying, and by the time the child was a toddler the parents were using a paddle, a wooden spoon, and a metal rod to the point of leaving bruises on their child. It was always done in places that would not be seen in public, such as on the upper legs, back, etc.
Every time someone in our family tried to intervene we would be told that the parents would move far away and we would never see their children again. It was agony knowing this was going on but not knowing how to stop it. I wrote to the Pearls, as did others in my family, about our concern about spanking to the point of bruising, but they did not respond. When I came across a story about the Schatz family in my local newspaper, and then saw Michael Pearl’s Facebook quote in which he says that he is laughing, it made my blood run cold. When he says that all of the people who use his materials have happy children, I know this is not true. I have not even mentioned the emotional abuse & humiliation that has been inflicted on the children in my family by their parents, which I also traced to things that Pearl recommends. I remember when we were going through the worst of this experience in my family I started having nightmares about one of the children being killed by their parents. It’s probably too late to undo a lot of the damage already done, and I will probably carry a feeling of guilt for not figuring out a way to intervene for the rest of my life. The only positive thing I can see to come out of the horror of Lydia Schatz’ death is that maybe now the tide is shifting a little against the Pearls. Please keep speaking out. Thank you all. I will keep all of you in my prayers.

]]> By: TulipGirl » Blog Archive » Who Is Speaking Out Against Abuse? http://redhatrob.com/2010/02/tragedy-in-a-homeschooling-family/#comment-232 TulipGirl » Blog Archive » Who Is Speaking Out Against Abuse? Sun, 28 Feb 2010 22:14:49 +0000 http://redhatrob.com/?p=1424#comment-232 [...] Rob Shearer: Tragedy in a Homeschooling Family Homeschool father of 11 children, church elder, Director of the Francis Schaeffer Study Center, co-founder of Greenleaf Press homeschool materials publisher [...] [...] Rob Shearer: Tragedy in a Homeschooling Family Homeschool father of 11 children, church elder, Director of the Francis Schaeffer Study Center, co-founder of Greenleaf Press homeschool materials publisher [...]

]]> By: mamazee http://redhatrob.com/2010/02/tragedy-in-a-homeschooling-family/#comment-231 mamazee Sun, 28 Feb 2010 04:30:38 +0000 http://redhatrob.com/?p=1424#comment-231 this story makes me heartsick. My husband said "how on earth can you hold down the natural drive parents have to take care of your child?" I don't understand how this happened. this story makes me heartsick. My husband said “how on earth can you hold down the natural drive parents have to take care of your child?”

I don’t understand how this happened.

]]> By: Roscommon Acres » Blog Archive » The Pearls, abuse and a false gospel http://redhatrob.com/2010/02/tragedy-in-a-homeschooling-family/#comment-230 Roscommon Acres » Blog Archive » The Pearls, abuse and a false gospel Thu, 25 Feb 2010 09:47:38 +0000 http://redhatrob.com/?p=1424#comment-230 [...] Discipline Turned Deadly (Interesting thoughts on the Christian response) Fundamental Discipline Tragedy in a Homeschooling Family When Parenting Kills Senseless [...] [...] Discipline Turned Deadly (Interesting thoughts on the Christian response) Fundamental Discipline Tragedy in a Homeschooling Family When Parenting Kills Senseless [...]

]]>